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- Written by Tom Blake Tom Blake
Finding love for single seniors is difficult, unless you get lucky and someone enters your life unexpectedly.
Finding love is like seeking employment. It takes work, energy, and commitment. To help mature singles through the maze, here are five finding-love-after-50 tips.
1. Create a written finding-love-after-50 plan. Include in your plan a personal profile — think of it as your resume. But this profile isn’t for publication; it’s for your eyes only, to guide you in your task.
Itemize your strengths and interests. But also include items where you can improve, such as getting more exercise and eating healthier.
Include a section in your plan titled “Qualities,” which has two parts. Part one: qualities you seek in a mate. Items such as “He makes me his top priority,” or, “He is kind, warm, and caring,” or, “He respects his mother.”
Part two: qualities or traits you won’t tolerate — deal-breakers. Examples: smoking, drug use, heavy drinking, moodiness, or a dislike of animals.
Review and update your written plan often; it will keep you from wasting time on the wrong person.
2. Start moving. This is the action part of your plan. Get off the couch, out of the house, and involved in activities you enjoy. By getting out, you’ll meet new people.
Volunteer. Join a club via Meetup.com. Take classes or dance lessons. Attend high school and college reunions.
Yes, during a pandemic, going outside is challenging. Follow local restrictions. Protect yourself and others.
3. Be pleasantly assertive, not aggressive. Strike up a conversation with a stranger who appears to be single (no wedding ring) and who appeals to you.
Where? Everywhere: while standing in line at the post office or at a store or while working as a docent at a museum. Possible conversation starters: “Is that a good Cabernet?” or, “That’s a nice-looking shirt.”
Be a salesperson and A-B-C: always be closing. Even if you are shy, end the conversation with, “Would you like to meet for coffee?” Or, “Would you like to walk in the park some morning?” Or, “May I email you?” Be friendly and smile.
4. Network. The old-fashioned way to meet people is still the best way. Tell your friends, relatives, neighbors, and co-workers that you are interested in meeting a potential mate. Ask if they know of anyone near your age who might be a good match for you.
Remind them each time you see them. Why? That cute guy down the street who was married or involved four months ago might now be single. As we age, people’s lives change. Relationships end. New ones begin.
5. Look online. The internet is another dating tool, a way to reach out beyond your geographical area to meet new people. In my book, How 50 Couples Found Love After 50, half of the couples met online.
There are positives and negatives. Every dating site has scammers, and one must be careful when online dating. Ask for guidance from friends, dating coaches, or even me. Trust your instincts. Be careful. Don’t send money to strangers.
With a solid written plan, you’ll improve your chances of meeting a potential mate. Good luck.
For dating information, previous articles, or to sign up for Tom’s complimentary, weekly e-newsletter, go to www.findingloveafter50.com.